I was driving slowly and changing my music on my iPod when I realized there was a red light and I was not in the proper lane I needed to be in. I looked behind me and the mirror to check if there was anyone in the lane next to mine to switch lanes, and I didn't see a car. So I quickly turned on my blinker and started veering into the right lane when I heard a massive horn behind me. I looked up at my rearview mirror and saw a woman in her mini van (probably full of kids) mumbling to herself and flipping me off- classy, right?
Anyway, I initially felt bad because I should have looked to make sure no one was there, but a few hours later I realized I was still thinking about it! Why didn't I look closer? Why did I move over so fast? I could have done this or that better, I probably scared her, etc. And I kept blaming myself for this small incident that happened hours ago! I realized I do this a lot, and it's something I need to change- I need to learn to just let it go.
I tend to hold on to mistakes or experiences, and I tend to think about them numerous times to the point where I feel like the whole day is ruined just because of that simple, small mistake. I tend to be really hard on myself and blame myself for things that I didn't do, couldn't change, or for simply just making a human mistake.
I know for most of us it makes us feel bad when we hear someone gossiping about us, or saying things that aren't true about us (I've had my list of those... in high school I was told that I apparently got a boob job at 14, I was pregnant so that's why I moved to Utah... Like where does that even come from?! Not true, by the way.) And whenever I hear something like that, I tend to over think it- why would someone say that about me? Why would someone make something up to make me look bad? And the truth is, I will never know the answer- so why continue dwelling on the negative people or the negative comments?
This is something I struggle with for sure, and have for many, many years. I am always making sure I treat people perfectly, leave the perfect impression- but the truth is, people will always find something negative to say if they're looking for the negative. Some people will always try to bring you down, regardless of how you treat them. A friend of mine recently told me "You really just have to forget about what people think." And it's so true. You can't always care what people think about you.
You have to realize that what's most important is how you feel about you. If you feel you gave it your all or you really tried to have the best intentions, do not dwell on the past or things you could've done, would've done, should've done. I am really trying lately not to dwell on the things I can't change- as long as I know I've done my best, at the end of the day, that's all that matters. :)
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